Unit 4
Reading and listening to this weeks assignment has been more a challenge than I thought. I have lately redirected much of my energies toward self-actualization in addition to allowing myself to be the center of attention and gratitude. I have been seeking the methods of meditation to realign myself with my initial energy. My concern is I am not applying the techniques efficiently. It is hard to say if my results are what is expected of such exercises.
I have learned to relax my emotions of anxiety and fear is many situations. Now I am working on the anger. It can come strong and seemingly out of nowhere. I am utilizing the method of self-talk (sometimes out loud) to counteract the outburst of the anger. At times it works well but other times it is seeded deep and I am unable to pluck it out.This frustrates me since I feel this should have been part of my upbringing. It would make my daily life easier to have these skills present and ever attentive originating from a childhood acquired behavior. But I am an adult and I will press on.
This weeks assignment of loving-kindness has touched my life on diverse occasions. Unfortunately they were sporadic. My biggest hurdle seems to be with the commentator's voice. If their tonal expression does not harmonize with my wavelength of energy I cannot focus on the exercise. I have tried the exercise just using the reading but this difficult to focus when you need to refer to text. I like the preface of the readings so I alone can concentrate. I have borrowed a few other CD on meditation and will try these. I may even record myself reading and see if this works. Reviewing this activity daily will train my brain to become more proficient in these types of activates. Practice, practice, practice. The more I do the easier it will become. K
You really shouldn’t beat yourself up for struggling with the outcome to the exercises at first. It takes a great deal of work to break down the walls we have built up to this point in our lives. The bursts of anger you mentioned usually come from deep within us for issues we didn’t know we still held onto. I was holding on to resentment to things in my past against other people. It created a world of anger that I still battle with and I have been working on it since I first took this class months ago. Can I say I have progressed to a good spot? Yes, I feel I have made great strides in my quest to eliminate the anger. As I chip away at each piece, I feel more freedom. You will achieve this as well. You just need to find the meditations that work best for you after this class and keep working on it. You will reach the peace you are looking for. It does become so much easier with time. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteHi Kat! I know what you mean about the "voice", but I don't know if I could listen to myself either:) I can also relate to your anger...I was angry for several years after my divorce. I still hold a bit of resentment, but the anger has faded and now my obstacle is forgiveness. These techniques that we are practicing will progressively bring us closer to an inner peace, as long as we don't give up. I know that sometimes it's a struggle, but I'm confident that perseverance will bring success!
ReplyDeleteHi K,
ReplyDeleteI think exercises like this is something that the mind has to adapt to at your pace. It's like trying to ride a bike for the first time. You know the concept but it takes practice. As for your feelings of anger, I have times when I get upset about things however I don't hold on to it. I have learned that the feeling of anger sickens me. When the thought of anger enters my mind i quickly turn my focus elsewhere because i know how unhealthy it is. I hope that you can at some point you can ease your mind of the anger you are experiencing and embrace the happiness life has for you.
Lori